Super-Thoughts

When Clark Kent gets dressed in the morning to go to work at the Daily Planet, in his suit and tie, where does tuck his cape? We all know that he wears his Superman costume under his suit, but where and how could he possibly tuck in that long ass cape? And how come NO ONE can tell that Clark Kent is Superman? They look exactly alike except Clark has glasses. He works around a shitload of reporters and NO ONE can see that they're the same person?

Why is it no matter what Bruce Banner (the Hulk) has on- suit, scrubs, dockers, whatever, it always turns into purple cut-offs? Every single time.

Who the hell thought that "the Thing" was a cool super-hero name? Let's recap: Mr. Fantastic (totally vain but kinda cool name), Invisible Woman (not bad), Human Torch (freaking awesome) and then "the Thing". Fucking c'mon! It's the Fantastic Four, not the "Three Cool People with the Cool Sounding names and that one rock dude". Why couldn't his name be "Rockslide" or something? That's pretty gangster. But no, they had to go and call him "the Thing". Gay.

Do the members of the Justice League ever make fun of Batman behind his back for not having any superpowers? Let's face it; he's pretty much a police officer in tights. Even Aquaman can talk to fish. Lame and useless, but a superpower. What? Batman is super smart? I'm sure that doesn't impress motherfuckahs that can FLY and SHOOT LASERS OUT OF THEIR EYES and or talk to fish.

Why is Spider-Man so awesome? But his aunt May, what is she like 800 years old? In the old original comics she was pretty old when he was a teenager (like 15) and now he's gotta be in his late 20s maybe early 30s. What the hell? I mean in almost every one of the old issues she was about to die if she didn't get some heart medicine and shit and now she's the picture of perfect health.

What lazy ass came up with the "invisible jet" that Wonder Woman supposedly has? Why not just say "Ok she can fly"? This invisible jet raises more unanswered questions. Like "how many people can it sit comfortably?", "where does she get jet fuel?" and "why is everything inside it invisible EXCEPT her?".

Why do people embrace heroes like the Fantastic Four and hate heroes like the X-Men? How do people know that the Fantastic Four aren't mutants? Or that the X-Men didn't just get their powers from some cosmic radiation?

Does the Flash have sex at supersonic speeds? If so, how could he ever expect to please any woman if he comes too soon?

Why did the Daredevil movie suck so much? I mean, it' s pretty horrible. Daredevil's a pretty interesting character, so why make such a sucky movie? Thank God, he'll never have watch it (he's blind and not real).